Raye's Stories - Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Raye: Stone Cold: If you want to see me kick X-Raided's ass gimme a "hell yeah"
Raye: XR: PLEASE JOIN THE USUAL SUSPECTS
Raye: * Austin kicks XR in the balls and gives him the Stunner
Raye: hahaha
Raye: Then XR will rp the next day
JFK_2005: Its fucked up how X-Raided's Rps, get all the HIGH ratings in viewership....
Raye: XR: Austin, that was one hell of a kick... I want you in my stable
Raye: hah
JFK_2005: Lol
Raye: the stupidasses always get the most attention
Raye: The people who roleplay EVERYDAY don't
Raye: :P
JFK_2005: Has he brought guns back into the mix?
Raye: or at least not from me
Raye: hahaha no
Raye: Hah
Raye: Oh man
Raye: Stone Cold and 50 Cent
Raye: LOL
JFK_2005: Lol
Raye: 50 Cent: You think you black nigga? Fiddy goin' bust a cap in yo ass.
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: XR: You're like my role model nigga!
Raye: 50 Cent: Who you callin' a nigga, bitch?
Raye: * 50 Cent pulls out a gun and shoots XR in the head
Raye: * The Next Night *
Raye: * XR is in the hospital
Raye: Doctor: We had to operate on Mr. X Raided... the results aren't that well, but he can wrestle next week at WAR
Cool_Dave: ooh its one of Raye's Stories
Raye: XR: 50... you... you are... going to die!!!
Raye: Lloyd: X, calm down nigga
Raye: G Money: Yeah bitch
Raye: XR: You guys wanna diss me more?! Look at me! I'm in the hospital!
Raye: G Money: You wanna know sumthin? WE will get back at Stone Cold and Fiddy
Raye: Lloyd: Yeah nigga, we goin take them downtown and rape their asses
Raye: XR: ... what?
Raye: Lloyd: Um... we goin' beat them down like we was the cops and they was Rodney King!
Raye: XR: Now that's more like it. You know, the Usual Suspects is all about ass kicking, not ass raping.
Raye: G Money: Oh really? Hmm, the last I remember, X, you were the one who --
Raye: XR: Enough! Please, leave me be.
Raye: G Money: Did I hear you use a proper sentence? Oh god, wait, I have to call Jack Squat and put you in the Hall of Fame now!
Raye: * Next week at WAR
Raye: * Lost Boyz come out
Raye: G Money: FIDDY AND STONE COLD, GET YO ASSES OUT HERE
Raye: * SCSA's music hits and he walks out with 50 Cent
Raye: Austin: What in the hell do you son of a bitches want?
Raye: Lloyd: We're here to avenge X Raided!
Raye: Austin: What?"
Raye: G Money: You stupid bastard, get your asses in the ring so we can take you out now!
Raye: Austin: What?
Raye: Lloyd: Let's get 'em!
Raye: * Lost Boyz run out and meet the two at the top of the ramp
Raye: * They start duking it out until suddenly XR's music blasts
Raye: XR comes driving out in a low rider
Raye: He runs over the Lost Boyz and stops the car in front of Austin and 50
Raye: XR: You guys, stop it!
Raye: XR: Now, look at me! I'm fine. 50, like I said, I want you to join the Usual Suspects.
Raye: 50: Nigga I'll join only if you become my BITCH.
Raye: Austin: Oh hell yeah!
Raye: XR: Look... I'm no one's bitch!
Raye: * Suddenly, the Oklahoma Fight song plays
Raye: Keith: It's Boomer Sooner!
Raye: Conrad: Zzz... um, oh, yeah!
Raye: * Boomer comes out in a cowboy outfit and a rope in hand
Raye: * He stops in front of X, 50, and Austin
Raye: * They all give him weird looks
Raye: Boomer: X, don't join the dark side! I thought I was the newest member of the Usual Suspects?
Raye: XR: Boomer, you are, but I want more men! We have to take out Oblivion and I will beat Genesis!
JFK_2005: Fan holds a "BRING BACK OBSIDIOUS BLIGHT" sign.
Cool_Dave: HAHAHAHA
Raye: 50: Hold on a minute... You wanna beat the champ?
Raye: XR: 50, you KNOW I will beat him
Raye: Austin: What?
Raye: XR: And as for you Austin
Raye: * XR pulls a Usual Suspects' t-shirt out of his ass
Raye: XR: Here, take it
Raye: Austin: ... I don't want your shit all over this piece of crap
Raye: XR: Please?"
Raye: * Austin kicks XR in the balls and gives him the Stunner
Raye: XR: ... Please join....
Raye: * The Next Week at WAR *
Raye: * XR comes out and to the ring
Raye: XR: My balls are fine... Well, maybe not... I didn't have any in the first place
Raye: XR: But! I'd just like to say that I am extremely upset... Wait, no... I mean, I'M PISSED BITCH
Raye: XR: So Austin, you think you're tough shit? Well son, I'm challenging you to a match here tonight! And Omega! If you're back here, come on out!
Raye: * Omega walks on out
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: XR: GM, make this match with me and Austin right now!
Raye: Omega: Fine. Done.
Raye: XR: But, one more thing...
Raye: XR: Make this match THE MAIN EVENT
Raye: Omega: ... Uh.
JFK_2005: NO!!!
JFK_2005: Dave watches as the ratings PLUMMETTTTT!!!!
Cool_Dave: lol
* X-Raided nails Omega with a Clothesline from Da Hood
Raye: Omega: But we already have a main event tonight. It's Genesis vs. the Goon for the title
JFK_2005: Fans start a "WE WANT NITRO" chant.
Raye: XR: Change that! Make it me vs. Austin! Waaaaahhhhh
CKC: HAHAHAHA Kash
Raye: * XR falls to the ground and bawls like a baby
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: Omega: Fine! You whining sack of --
Raye: * Austin's music hits
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: * Austin walks out with a beer in hand and heads down to the ring
X-Raided: We Want Nitro....Dave this may be quotes material
Raye: Austin: X Raided you son of a bitch, get your ass up
Raye: * XR gets up and wipes away a tear
Raye: Austin: We can have our match right now!
Raye: XR: No! I want it as the main event! I have it here in my contract that I can have a main event! It's signed by Dave in crayons!
JFK_2005: Lol.
Cool_Dave: crayons!
Cool_Dave: hahah
Raye: Austin: You dumb SOB, I don't want to be in the main event. I already packed away a few Steveweisers so I don't feel all that good.
JFK_2005: Dave must've been drunk when he agreed to that.
Raye: XR: ... Fine! Omega! Let's make this the main event at Generations!!!
Raye: Omega: NO!
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: XR: ... *sniff*
Raye: * Suddenly, Austin gives XR the Stunner
Raye: * A referee runs out from the back
Raye: The referee counts one, two -- the lights go out!
Raye: "ARE YOU READY?!"
Raye: * DX's music blasts
Raye: * HBK and Triple H walk out
Steve_Blackman: I'll let Raye rant
Raye: HBK: Hold the phone!
Raye: * Austin gets up and looks at DX
Raye: HBK: Austin, you're making a big mistake trying to pick a fight with that man!
Raye: Austin: What?
Raye: HHH: You see...
Raye: * Triple H and HBK take off their DX shirts to reveal their Usual Suspects shirts
Raye: Keith: Oh god.
Cool_Dave: HAHAHAHA
Raye: Austin: What are those ugly shirts you're wearing?
Raye: HHH: Can't you see?! Since we're not Oblivion quality, we had to resort to joining the Usual Suspects!
Raye: * HBK and HHH walk down to the ring
Raye: * Suddenly, the Lost Boyz come on out
Raye: G Money: Wait! Wait!
Raye: G Money: X, you ran us over last week... It's koo that it was just an accident, but you let these DX dummies in? Are you fo real?!
Raye: Austin: You dumbasses, I just knocked the lights out of your little leader here, so why are you even talking to him?!
Raye: Lloyd: Triple H! HBK! Do you know how X likes it?
Raye: HHH: Um... He likes to run wild?
Raye: Lloyd: Wrong! He likes it up the ass, nigga!
JFK_2005: The execs with their fingers on the censors...
Raye: HBK: ... So do I.
JFK_2005: TOO LATE!!!
Raye: HHH: Me too. Chyna was good.
JFK_2005: Lol.
CKC: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: G Money: ... Uh... Yo, uh... I lost my train of thought
Raye: Austin: Why don't you four dumbasses shut the hell up? If you wanna see me kick their asses, gimme a hell yeah.
Raye: Crowd: HELL YEAH
Raye: * "In Da Club" blasts
Raye: * 50 Cent comes out with a gun
CKC: Crowd: HELL YEAH!!!
Raye: Keith: I thought those things were banned here in the DIWF?
Raye: Conrad: I guess not.
Raye: * 50 shoots Lloyd and G Money in the face
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: HHH and HBK run away through the crowd
Raye: * The Oklahoma Fight song blasts
Raye: * 50 immediately turns to the entrance and fires
Raye: * Boomer Sooner's carcass flat onto the ground in front of the entrance
Cool_Dave: LOL!
JFK_2005: LOL!!!!!!!!!!
Raye: Austin: Now if you wanna see 50 kill XR right now on TSN, gimme a hell yeah!
Raye: Crowd: Hell yeah!
Raye: * 50 walks down to the ring
Cool_Dave: lol
CKC: HELL YEAH!!!!
Raye: * Austin picks up X and holds him
Raye: * 50 steps into the ring and positions his gun
Raye: * 50 fires, but X collapses in Austin's arms.
Raye: * Austin dies
Raye: 50: Oh shit!
Raye: * XR crawls to his feet and attacks 50
Raye: XR: Join the Usual Suspects! *punch*
Raye: 50: Get off of me, foo!
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: Suddenly, a masked man leaps out of the crowd
Raye: The masked man jumps on XR and starts attacking him
Raye: XR and the masked man tangle on the crowd
Cool_Dave: MM!
Raye: Finally, when X is on top of the masked man
Raye: X gives him a kiss
Raye: Conrad: I didn't know X swung like that!
Raye: Keith: ... This is getting more and more disturbing.
Raye: X takes off the mask to reveal...
Raye: J TIZZLE
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: XR: Oh god! I just kissed a man! I thought you were like Christy or someone.
Ninjalo: wtf
Cool_Dave: HAHAHA
JFK_2005: NOT J TIZZLE!!!!
Raye: J Tizzle: X, I loved you ever since the first time we met in the ring!
Raye: * Suddenly, the Colonel's music hits
JFK_2005: NO!
JFK_2005: NOT THAT BASTARD!
Raye: Colonel: J Tizzle you bitch! I love X Raided!
CKC: HAHAHAHA Kash
Raye: 50: Fuck this, I'm out of here!
Raye: * 50 rolls out of the ring and walks away
Raye: J Tizzle: X, I have something to ask you...
Raye: J Tizzle pushes X off of him and gets to one knee
Raye: J Tizzle: Elizabe -- I mean... X Raided... would you marry me?
Cool_Dave: HAHAHAHHAA
JFK_2005: LOL!!!!
Raye: * X Raided looks around in confusion
JFK_2005: Lol.
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: Colonel: No! No! Don't say "yes"!!!
Raye: X: ... I'm sorry, but...
Raye: * X gives a swift kick to J Tizzle
Raye: X: The only man who I love is none other than...
Raye: * X stops and waits for the crowd to start badmouthing him because he takes so fucking long
JFK_2005: WHOA!!!!!
Raye: ...
Raye: Colonel: Well!?!?!?!
Raye: Keith: How much time has passed by now Conrad?
Raye: Conrad: Five minutes.
Raye: Keith: And he still hasn't answered?!
Raye: * The crowd starts to litter the ring
Raye: X: I'm sorry... *cries* I... I'm just too ashamed!
Raye: J Tizzle walks over and starts rubbing X's back
Raye: X pushes him away and cries in a corner
Raye: Conrad: This is just gay.
Raye: Keith: Yes, this is lame as hell.
Raye: * Colonel walks down to the ring
JFK_2005: (DAVE BEGINS SELLING STOCK OF DIWF)
Raye: Colonel: J Tizzle, since X is too ashamed to say that he loves me, I'll make it clear right here...
CKC: HAHAHAHA Kash
Raye: Colonel: Me and you, one on one at Generations for X's hand in marriage!
Raye: J Tizzle: Oh it's on bitch
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: * At Generations *
Raye: Keith: Well, it looks like the crowd doesn't give a shit about tonight's main event, Genesis vs. Malaki because there's a match concerning X Raided's hand in marriage!
Raye: Conrad: Yes, and it seems as though X Raided STILL hasn't told us who he really is in love with
Raye: Keith: Do I even care at this point?
Raye: Conrad: I don't.
Raye: Keith: Me neither
Raye: * Colonel and J Tizzle's match comes and goes. In the end, J Tizzle beats the Colonel and afterwards...
JFK_2005: Comes and Goes...
Raye: J Tizzle: X Raided, get your ass out here now so I can marry you!
Cool_Dave: hahaha
Raye: * X Raided comes out, but he's holding onto someone's hand
JFK_2005: BTW Colonel/TIZZLE drew a 3.2
Raye: X: J Tizzle, I can't marry you becasue I just got hitched in Vegas
Raye: X: Let me introduce to you my true love
Raye: * X drags out Venom's hand
Raye: Keith: WHAT THE FUCK
Cool_Dave: HAHAHAHAHAHA
JFK_2005: WTF????
Crook: hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kron: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
JFK_2005: Thats where the fucker went!
Raye: X: That's right! If you were wondering where Venom was, he was with me! Me! ME! HE'S NOT OBLIVION! HE'S MOTHER FUCKIN USUAL SUSPECTS NOW BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!
Cool_Dave: 99.9
JFK_2005: LMFAO!!!!
Raye: * DX comes out and all four of the men have a big group hug
JFK_2005: HAHAH!!!!!
Crook: LAUGHIG MY FUCKING ASS OFF
JFK_2005: 99.99999
Raye: J Tizzle: I want to join the Usual Suspects too!
Raye: X: You can't! Sorry, members only!
JFK_2005: ME TOO!!!!
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: J Tizzle: You son of a bitch!
JFK_2005: OH!
Raye: * J Tizzle runs up the ramp and starts attacking all four of the guys
Raye: * Suddenly, Dave's music hits and he walks out, causing everything to end
Raye: Dave: What the hell is this?! In the eight years that the DIWF has been around, I have never ever had to witness something so homosexual as this!
Raye: Dave: Venom! What are you doing with these fairies? Get your ass backstage because you have a match up NEXT.
Raye: Venom: Who the hell is it against?!
Raye: Dave: You'll have to see for yourself.
Raye: * A few minutes later
Raye: * Venom comes out and waits in the ring
Raye: * The lights go off and suddenly, some familiar music begins to play
JFK_2005: lol.
JFK_2005: familiar?
JFK_2005: LETS GO!
Raye: * Fireworks explode and out walks Obelisk
Raye: Keith: This isn't much of a grand surprise
CKC: Oh lord
Raye: Conrad: You're telling me
JFK_2005: LOL
Raye: Venom grabs a microphone
CKC: this is gonna be ugly
Raye: Venom: Dave why the hell do I have to fight this bastard again?! AGAIN!?!?!?!??!
Cool_Dave: LOL!!!!!!
Raye: * Dave walks out with a mic
Raye: Dave: Because you two get along so well! Ring the damned bell!
Raye: * Obeliks gets into the ring and starts beating the hell out of Venom
Raye: * Obelisk puts Venom on the top turnbuckle and hits the God Crusher
Raye: One
Raye: Two
Raye: * Suddenly, the Lost Boyz run out
Raye: They hit the ring and attack Obelisk
Cool_Dave: wtf lol
Raye: They both throw him over the top rope
Raye: G Money: Venom, you OK?
Raye: Lloyd: X! We just saved your wife, so get your ass out here and let us join the Usual Suspects too!
JFK_2005: LOL!!!!!
Raye: * XR walks out with DX
Raye: XR: You two want to join the Usual Suspects?! Well, you can't!
Raye: Lloyd: Why?!
Raye: G Money: Members only? Is that why?!
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: XR: No, I just changed the name. It's now called the New Dangerous Purple Suspects!
* CKC says "This is more slow and painful than Terry Shiavo's death!" and then walks to the back never to be heard from again
Raye: G Money: Sounds gay.
Raye: Lloyd: I'm in.
Cool_Dave: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Raye: G Money: What the hell?
Raye: Lloyd: What? It's a cool name
Raye: G Money: No way nigga
Raye: Lloyd: Psh, OK, fine, you can be all alone then
Raye: G Money: I don't wanna!
JFK_2005: CKC, YOURE TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Raye: * 50 jumps over the guardrail and shoots both of the Lost Boyz
Raye: 50: Nigga, this shit is gonna end TONIGHT
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: * XR looks around as if he's scared shitless
Raye: 50: Get your ass down here or else you'll find me in a mafuckin club with a bottle full of bub
JFK_2005: lol
Raye: * Suddenly, "In the Club" plays and 50 starts singing to his own song
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: * XR walks down to the ring with DX behind him
JFK_2005: lol
Going_To_Hell: That's why I'm going to Hell, Kash
Going_To_Hell: HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JFK_2005: Nice...
Raye: * The three men jump into the ring and start attacking 50
Raye: 50 shoots HBK in the face killing him
JFK_2005: Say hi to the Tremblay Brothers For me.
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: HHH kicks 50 in the gut and gives him the Pedigree there
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: XR and HHH stomp a mudhole in 50
Raye: XR picks up 50's gun
JFK_2005: HHH doesnt kill 50, but his CAREER instead
Raye: XR: Now how does look now, 50?
Raye: 50: You bitch...
Raye: XR pulls up the gun
Raye: Suddenly
JFK_2005: 50.0 Cent
Raye: "So, you think you're untouchable?"
JFK_2005: OH NO!!!
Raye: WORD LIFE! THIS IS BASIC THUGANOMICS
Raye: * Out runs John Cena
Cool_Dave: lol
JFK_2005: 3.7
Raye: Cena hits in the ring and gives a lariat to HHH
JFK_2005: sorry, that's the avg. Smackdown Rating.
JFK_2005: I meant 42.5
Raye: Before X can shoot anyone, Cena picks him up and gives him the FU
CKC: LOL JFK
Raye: Cena: WORD LIFE!
Raye: * Cena helps 50 up, but 50 pulls out another gun and shoots Cena
Raye: 50: This is my ring bitch!
Raye: 50: I own this joint! Who gives a shit about Genesis honestly? Let me see a show of hands!
Raye: * 50 looks around. No one is raising their hand.
Raye: ... except for one person
JFK_2005: ouch....
Raye: * 50 takes his gun and shoots that one person
Raye: 50: Anyway, X, you gonna get your ass beat down tonight!
Raye: XR goes to a corner and begs off like a heel
Raye: 50 hoists up the gun
Raye: Until he is attacked! (who would have guessed?)
Raye: By none other than DIWF President Dave Gabriel!
Cool_Dave: lol
Raye: Dave locks 50 in the Shotgun
Raye: 50 starts tapping out
Cool_Dave: !!!!
Raye: XR and HHH laugh their asses off
Cool_Dave: Shotgun! BANG!!
Cool_Dave: Way Past Cool!
Raye: Dave: 50! You don't own this ring! You don't own this fed! The New Dangerous Purple Suspects do!
Raye: The Supreme Screen has the DIWF logo on it
Raye: Suddenly, the DIWF logo changes to the NDPS logo
Raye: Dave: And you know what? That's way past cool!
Raye: * X, Dave, and HHH all celebrate as Generations comes to a close
Raye: * The Next Week *
Raye: * At a DIWF press conference
Raye: Dave: Apparently, the ratings for Generations were so bad that we were forced to close the federation... I hate to say it, but yes, this is the third and final time.
Cool_Dave: lol
* CKC is now known as CKC_works_for_WWE_now
Raye: Reporter: What about X Raided's relationship with Venom?
Raye: Dave: What do you mean?
Raye: Reporter: Was that a gimmick or... was it for real?
JFK_2005: footnote: CKC would show up on NWA:TNA and wrestle Dustin Rhodes for no title, for the rest of eternity.
Raye: Dave: It was real. Everything in this federation is real.
Cool_Dave: lol
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: HAH!
JFK_2005: Lol.
Raye: Reporter: Oh. That explains why I saw Michael Hickenbottom's obituary.
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: And he would, if he got paid
JFK_2005: Beat me to it.
Raye: Dave: Yes, not if you will excuse me...
Raye: * Dave takes his leave, but X Raided jumps onto the podium
Cool_Dave: oh no
Raye: X: OK, OK, I have just ONE question for each and every one of you people out there
Raye: Reporters all at once: What?
JFK_2005: Due to cutbacks, all Cards will eminate live from the Omega Casino and Resort Bingo Hall.
Raye: X: Who wants to join my new group the New Danger? I'll give you all a free t-shirt!
Raye: * END
Raye: >P
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cool_Dave: lol
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: END IT THERE!
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: Oh you did
Cool_Dave: haha
Raye: Yes I'm ending i there
Cool_Dave: good stuff
Raye: I have other things to do
Raye: :P
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: That was excellent
Cool_Dave: as always
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: I have now experienced...
CKC_works_for_WWE_now: the late night out of his mind WKS story
JFK_2005: WKS is one scary dude.
JFK_2005: But he put the DIWF out of business.
Raye: It always end like that
Raye: lol
JFK_2005: Lol.
Raye: The DIWF ends up super corrupted.